Sexual Harrasment in the Workplace

I left work early today because I couldn't stand to be in a workplace where women's rights were not considered valid or important. This week the head boss (male) at my job has been out of town. The assistant boss (male) was left in charge. I work in an office of mostly women. There are 9 women and 3 men that work in our office space, 8 of the women work in my section of the company and all three men work in a different department that has nothing to do with what we do. Yesterday a male employee walked into my office that I share with another female coworker and he began to massage her shoulders. She was caught off guard by this and clearly uncomfortable. She asked what he was doing and he said he just felt like giving her a massage. It was very uncomfortable for me to witness and for her to experience and after it happened I talked to my coworker and encouraged her to report the incident. She was too afraid so I went and told the assistant boss before I left work yesterday(I am part time). He seemed irritated (in a good way) and I was confident that he would handle the situation effectively and that this would not be an issue again.

When I talked to my office mate this morning she told me that the assistant boss had a meeting with the 3 male employees behind closed doors and that he supposedly told them not to mess with the girls in the office (the wording alone pisses me off but I digress). After meeting with the male employees the assistant boss came into our office (I was already gone for the day so it was just him and my office mate) and began to tell her that this male employee was actually his brother in law and that he was sure that he didn't mean anything by the incident. He also implied that the male employee had something good to go home to so the incident really couldn't mean anything. He also brought up the fact that my office mate had made a complaint about another male employee a few months ago who was inappropriately talking to her, he asked her if there was anyone else he should take care of for her. Later the same male employee from the massage incident found my office mate in the break room alone and walked up to her while she was reading in a chair and gave her a sideways hug and told her that she was his best friend in the office. She was completely weirded out and angry but did not report the incident to the assistant boss. She told me this morning that if one more thing happened then she would report the incident.

This same male employee was given keys to the office yesterday and told to lock up at the end of the day because the assistant boss left early yesterday. My office mate (not to mention all the other women in the office) were left alone with this guy yesterday afternoon. I told my office mate that she needed to report all this to the boss tomorrow when he gets back and she said she would.

There are soooo many wrong things happening here. After being told all this by my office mate I tried to work. When the assistant boss came into our office to see how we were doing I could barely look him in the eye. I could barely be civil with him. I used to have some respect for him, not a lot (for other reasons not related to this) but some. After what she told me I have none. I am disgusted and disappointed. And the male employee that did all this wasn't at our office yet (he comes in later in the day) and as I thought about all this at my desk I started to lose it. All I wanted to do was go into the assistant boss's office and tell him that how he handled the situation was completely wrong and inappropriate. But I don't want to make my office mate uncomfortable, I don't want to put her in a bad situation. And really it is her situation to handle not mine. But sitting there, wanting to scream and yell, wanting to defend her, wanting to defend all women that are put in these situations all the time. I just couldn't take it. I especially couldn't stand the idea of being in the office with the male employee that was causing all this. So I got up and called Mike on my cell phone and cried and told him a shorter version of all this and he said leave, go home, don't stay there in that environment. Which is exactly what I wanted to do. And so I told the assistant boss (with teary eyes, grr, I hate how that is viewed as weak!) that I couldn't stay and that I needed to leave and he told me to go. So here I am at home, angry as hell and so confused.

It doesn't matter who you are (the brother in law of the assitnat boss), who you have to go home to, or what your "intentions" were, it is never NEVER okay to touch someone if they don't want to be touched. And clearly this guy knows that he can get away with it which is why he came up to my office mate after the "intervention" and touched her inapporpriatley again! He is now not only physically harrasing her but emotionally. He is asserting what he believes to be his right to violate her boundries and he is enjoying watching her squirm under his percieved power over her. AND he is being given keys to the office and supervisory control as a reward for his very wrong and illegal behavior!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IN THE HELL!!!????!

I know I may be nieve but I have NEVER seen this kind of behavior in a (supposedly) professional environment. I have seen harrasement before but never such blatent disregard for the harrassed person's rights. What adds insult to injury is that the assistnat boss wanted to fire the other male employee for inappropriatley talking to my office mate but now when it is his brother in law (and a much more serious offense) he is defending the male and villifying my office mate. And the assistant boss has a daughter! How can he not see his own little girl in this situation??!! How can he justify to himself that he is handling this correctly!!???????

I would like to think that normally I wouldn't have cried over this, that it is the hormones making me react so vehemently to this whole situation. But honestly, I still would have left today, maybe without tears but I still would not have been able to stay in that place. The head boss comes back to tomorrow and I have every intention of airing all this dirty laundry to him. And I have very little confidence that he will handle it appropriately because he is best friends with the assistant boss and they've known each other since they were kids. It is a very real possibiliy that I will be packing up my desk tomorrow and never going back there. And that makes me angry and sad. I told me office mate when I left today that I wished I could take her with me. I can not stand to watch someone be victimized like this. And though I am disappointed that she won't stand up for herself more I also see why it is pointless for her to stand up for herself right now. The assistant boss will not help her so why continue to go to him? So we'll both talk to the head boss tomorrow. And perhaps we'll both be packing up our desks tomorrow. And that probably is the best thing for us both at this point anyway.

Wow, so I decided to do some googling of sexual harrasment in the workplace and found some really suprising results. It turns out that I am also the victim of sexual harrasement in my office. Check this out:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Workplace_sexual_harassment

specifically this definition:

• The victim does not have to be the person directly harassed but can be anyone who finds the behavior offensive and is affected by it.

This also struck me as interesting, from the same link above:

Effects of sexual harassment on organizations-

The knowledge that harassment is permitted can undermine ethical standards and discipline in the organization in general, as staff and/or students lose respect for, and trust in, their seniors who indulge in, or turn a blind eye to, sexual harassment.

Loss of staff and expertise from resignations to avoid harassment

Now I know that I am about to stop working at this company anyway so I am certain that it is not seen as a large threat if I leave because of what's happening in the office right now. BUT, both the above statements are very true and I definitely would not stay if the hostile work environment continued. And by the way, my office mate and I are 2 of the top 3 revenue generators for the company. I wonder how the head boss will decide to deal with this situation. The male employee in question just recently started and as far as I know only has the job (and the keys to the office, grrr) because he is the bro-in-law of the assistant boss.

*****UPDATED TO ADD**********

I just got a call from work, the male employee came in and touched my office mate again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And she confronted the assitant boss and he scolded her for talking about it with other employees and she left. And then after she left the assistant boss left, with the male employee that has caused all this still sitting in the office with all the other women. I am going back tomorrow to talk to the head boss and collect my things. I can't work there. Even if they fire the male employee I can't work for/with the assitant boss anymore. I have NEVER seen a situation handled so poorly!