Rough

***EDITED TO ADD***

This post was not intended to offend anyone, including Mike or Lynn. I posted this because I genuinely wanted to express one aspect of the frustration that I face as a parent/stepparent. Mike, Lynn, and I are all stepparents and parents, we all face very similar hardships. There was no malice on anyones part in this situation. There is no bad guy here. This is life, it gets messy, I get frustrated but I am not attacking the people involved (and I don't want anyone else to do that either). I want to defend Lynn, I think she had a hard choice to make, and she made the right choice for Bailey. I apologize to Mike and Lynn for any offense I caused them, it truly was not at all what I was aiming for.

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Rough night last night, Mike and I kinda fought, not really but kinda. Bailey's Mom got her an iphone cell phone. Yes you heard that right, a frickin iphone for a 9 yr old who doesn't call anyone nor ever go anywhere (not even the bus stop) without an adult, ever. Yeah. We are both vehemently opposed to Bailey having a cell phone. But here's the rub. Bailey has two stepsisters who live in a very different area than us, an area where 8 yr olds have iphones and itouches and basically are way spoiled. We don't live like that, even if we had the money, we wouldn't want Bailey to have a phone yet. And the only reason that her Mom got her an iphone is because the two other girls got iphones from their Mom. I understand where Lynn is coming from, I do, she doesn't want Bailey to feel left out. I get that, and I commend her for spending the money and doing something that she doesn't necessarily want to do but is doing for her daughter's happiness. Every parent wants to give their child everything and not watch their child be sad or left out.

So here is where Mike and I disagreed. I say, no problem, let Bailey have her iphone, but not here, not at our house. If Lynn wants to introduce this element to Bailey's life then so be it, we can't really stop her, but I do not want it here, I do not want to deal with monitoring Bailey's every action with that phone. Mike says that is not fair, that it doesn't make sense. That Bailey should be able to text and call her Mom with her phone since she has it. Bailey can call her Mom whenever she wants, Bailey can call Mike whenever she wants, all she has to do is ask and we give her one of our phones to do so. And really the bottom line to this whole issue is that I am the one that is going to have to monitor the phone use, I am the one that is going to have to enforce the rules and punish and all that crap because I spend more time at home with Bailey. Not Lynn, not Mike (and Mike really hates that he isn't home and is really offended when I say that I am the one that has to deal with this, but he knows that I support him working and that he is doing what's right for our family by working long hours and not being here, but still it hurts him to not be here). So my question to you dear readers is this: Am I being unreasonable? Mike says I am.

So in my mind I am wrestling with this. Perhaps we can just start with the phone staying at Lynn's house and see how that goes, maybe once school is out I will feel more comfortable with Bailey having the phone here. I just know that right now is not a good time for her to have a brand new gigantic distraction. She is about to take the CRCTs (a week long testing ordeal that determines if she goes to 4th grade) her grandparents are about to be here for a week for Passover. Maybe the phone should be given as a privilege after Levi is born to help ease the pain of everyone paying attention to the baby. I don't know. It seems stupid to get so bent out of shape over a cell phone but I guess for me it is more than that. For me it is affecting the way I parent my children, it is disturbing my household. And why should I have to go through this disruption because Bailey's stepsisters Mom decided to buy them iphones??

When is it appropriate and worthy to compromise and when is it appropriate to say no thank you and put my foot down?? This step parenting thing really sucks sometimes.