Kid Free Weekend in Savannah

Oh my! We had such a WONDERFUL time in Savannah! And already I want to go back because we didn't even begin to see all the sights and cool stuff!

Dear Heather

Dear Heather,

I am awake past midnight thinking about you. Sending you love, prayers, encouragement, battle cries. Whatever it takes to keep you fighting. To keep you here with us. You are an amazing soul. You have uplifted, inspired, and encouraged so many people, more than you even realize.

In you, I see myself. We are the same age, we both have a 5 yr old child. We both were teachers (you still are). You are who I wish I could be in many ways. Your energy, your passion, your determination. I can only hope that someday I can take on more of your qualities.

You have to fight. You have to eat. You have to fight because you have an amazing son that I know you want to see grow up. You have an incredible husband that loves you so much. Your Mom. Your family. Your friends.

And then there are people like me. People that you don't even know very well. People that are absolutely and unendingly rooting for you just because you are who you are.

I was lucky enough to teach on the same hallway as you. I had the honor of watching you very deservedly receive the Golden Apple award. I was there the day that the film crews came to your classroom. Every morning you came in with a smile and typically you were bouncing off the walls too. And I was also at Augusta State with you. You have stayed in my mind and my heart over the last 3 years simply because you are you.

Hear me Heather. Stay here. Stay in this fight. The prize at the end of all this fighting is life. Not just any life, your life. Your life full of people that love you and want you. Every minute, every hour, every day, every week, every year. Fight for it! Take it! Live!

Love,
Jen

Quirks

As I approach 30 (yikes!) I am realizing that I am really actually an adult now. No more pretending like I am an adult because I feel that is what I should be, now I really am just an adult. With this new self awareness comes the noticing of some strange quirks I have developed.

I remember as a child and teenager watching my parents and wondering why they did things the way they did. They were so specific in the actions they made when doing certain things. I remember watching my Mom smoke a cigarette in her car in high school. It was like watching a choreographed dance. She had to clean the ashtray, then wipe the console, then delicately extract her lighter from it's protective pouch, the same with her cigarette, then finally she would light the cig and then roll her window down and up about 5 times before settling on just the right size crack to allow the smokey air out and keep the cool air in. And I remember watching my Dad clean the kitchen as a kid. He had to touch every single item on the counters. Every one. And not just touch, he had to move it a minuscule centimeter to the left or right a few times to make sure it was just in the right place. He still does that.

And when I would watch my parents do these quirky things I would wonder why they HAD to do it THAT way. I would wonder (in my defiant teenage way) why they couldn't relax and do things differently, ever.

So now I realize that I too have developed quirky habits that my kids will question and pick on me for. And here are just a few:

Brushing my hair before I go to bed. What is that? I have NEVER done this before but now I find I can't go to bed unless I have brushed my hair. It is going to get bed head whether I brush it or not but alas my compulsion will not allow me to not brush it. This habit has really started since Levi was born. Weird!

Brushing my teeth 3 times a day. This is a great habit and one I wish I would have developed at a younger age. But it is strange. I am unable to go through the day without brushing my teeth, especially if I feel that my teeth are getting a film from all the food I eat. Part of my new love of teeth brushing is the discovery of a new toothpaste that I LOVE the taste of. I would seriously eat the toothpaste if I could. Crest 3D White Advanced Vivid Stain Protection. Now it comes in 2 flavors and my favorite is fresh mint. I was VERY disappointed when I accidentally bought vibrant mint. See the crazy quirkiness here people?!

Speaking of oral hygiene, I have now developed a solid gum chewing habit. An addiction really. I am not a pack a day yet but I am close. I am not sure why I have developed this habit. Again it is a new one that has just popped up since Levi was born. Maybe I am developing OCD as part of my postpartum experience? And of course I have my favorite gum and all other gums shall never be as good as it. Wrigley's 5 Rain flavor gum. I am chewing it right now. And I just brushed my teeth.

The way I clean my kitchen. I like to do the dishes/make coffee for the next day/pack everyone's lunches, then clean the counters, then sweep the floors, then mop. I like it this way because then everything is clean at the end and you haven't recreated a mess by doing the floors first and then wiping the counters and getting food/stuff on the floor from the counters. Yeah, I know, I am weird.

So there a few of my weird quirks. What are your quirks? Did you find that you were less quirky as a young twentysomething? Do you have a favorite toothpaste too? Do you remember your parent's crazy quirks? Have you developed the same quirks as your parents? What's your favorite gum?

I need a wife

I need a wife just like me. Let me explain. As a SAHM/W (stay at home mom/wife) my entire "job" is taking care of the kids and Mike. My day is consumed with anticipating everyone's needs/wants before they even realize they have them. I devote all my time to cleaning/cooking/shopping/chauffeuring/errand running so that the four other people in this family can flourish and succeed at their endeavors (school/work/growing).

I want someone to do that for me. Because WOW! That has got to rock to be so well supported. I don't want to stop doing what I do for Mike and the kids. I love to see them all happy and content. I just want someone to do the same for me.

So I need a wife just like me. I am accepting resumes starting today. The position has no pay or benefits or vacation time or sick days. But you do get to watch me flourish and succeed at being myself so that's gotta be worth something, right?

My (not so) Tiny Dancers

Both girls made their way to the front of their dance classes today. I was not surprised at all. They are both natural leaders and neither will settle for anything but the most attention possible (in a good way). Check out these cutie pies!!! :)

Bailey is taking a Hip Hop class.

Evie is taking Ballet/Tap.

And here's Levi being his cute self as usual :)

Relaxation

Recently (yesterday) I decided to research relaxation techniques to help me stay calm and level headed in the face of 3 kids and a million things to get done. I found some EXCELLENT resources and I immediately started putting them to use. Let me tell you, it amazes me, astounds me, how a change in perspective and outlook has changed the entire landscape of my day to day life as a SAHM (stay at home mom) with a 9 yr old, 5 yr old, and newborn. I feel like I have a new lease on life, like things that I never thought were possible are not only possible but easy to do. One of the things I struggled with was getting into spats with the big girls (Levi at this point is pretty low maintenance as far as emotional needs). This was a HUGE source of stress and heartache for me everyday, to the point that I would dread them coming home from school because I didn't know how I was going to avoid the altercations. After researching the techniques for relaxing and putting them into use Friday and today I am AMAZED! Not only are the spats less but the joy and love are so much MORE!!! More than I thought was possible in such a quick time. There has always been love of course but the constant spats make the joy/love feelings hard to remember and feel in the moment.

So today I have felt like a new woman and a new Mom. The five of us ate a yummy breakfast together and we all laughed, belly laughed at the table together just cracking each other up. Then I did yoga for 20 minutes to relax. Then I walked with (dragged) Evie and pushed Levi in the stroller at the park for 2 miles. Bailey rode her bike while Mike ran the 2 miles. It was great! And then we came home and had a yummy turkey burger with turkey bacon dinner. Mike bathed Levi while I bathed and did hair for both girls.

Today was a wonderful day. But it wasn't a different day than any other for our family. Except for me, I was different. My outlook, my approach was different. And that made all the difference. There were plenty of opportunities for spats with both girls. Today I took breathes, I gave myself time outs, I said my mantra (let it go, let it go, relax, relax) about a million times, and it worked! I know it's only been 2 days but the difference has given me so much confidence, so much hope, so much happiness.

At the end of the day (everyday) I LOVE my family. I love that we all get to be together and share this life with each other. I want the time that the five of us are together to be full of reality but also laughter, fun, joy, love. Our life has always had that but recently it was more stress than love. Now the tables are turning back to they way it should be and I am so very glad.

First Day of Kindergarten for Evie and 4th Grade for Bailey

And I cried and sobbed as soon as the bus pulled away. Why am I so heartbroken by watching Evie happily get on the bus and go to school?

Love!

My Boys - I heart them!

Levi's 2 Month Check-Up and Shots

Today Levi had his 2 month check up. He has grown a lot! 13 lbs 2oz and 24 1/4 inches long! He's in the 90th percentile for height and the 85th percentile for weight. Mike was super proud, especially the height, his dream of having a super star basketball player son might just happen. So that was the good part of the appointment. Then came the bad part... The shots. He had an oral vaccine (never heard of that until today) and two shots. All together I think he got 6 or 7 immunizations. He handled it really well and so far no fever, just sleeping. Lots of sleeping.

I made Mike come with me for this appointment. And I will for every appointment when Levi gets shots. I don't think I would have been able to keep it together if I had been by myself. As it was I only teared up, no real crying, that's a success in my book. Next appointment is when he is 4 months and he will get more shots then too. Ugh.

Levi before his shots...

Levi's Quilt

Last Wednesday my Mom drove Evie here from her Dad's house and brought a gift for Levi. She made a quilt for Levi, from scratch. My Mom is super crafty and the quilt is gorgeous! Evie tried to "borrow" it already.

Thank you Mom!!! <3

4th of July Weekend at the Beach

We went to the beach with our friends for 4th of July. It was a BLAST! They brought their 8 yr old daughter (Bailey's bball teammate and BFF) and the girls had a blast. Evie didn't come with us this time, she was in NJ with her Dad. Here's some pics of the fun:

Shrek Baby!

Dinner at Senor Frogs

Levi and Grandma

A good time was had by all. Bailey and I danced at Senor Frogs and on the pier, super cute and fun :) And we hit Broadway at the Beach and even squeezed in a run while we were visiting. All and all the trip was a success! 



Can you tell?

Can you tell that we went to the beach again and then Evie came home and I have been too busy to post?

Yeah, I thought you might have noticed my lack of posting. Sorry about that. Here is a little teaser to get you through til Monday when I will have time to really post again.

Bonding Moment

I was watching Levi today while Mike tried to get some sleep so he could drive us to the beach tonight. Of course the one time I need Levi to be quiet he is squirmy and fussy. I wanted to just bounce him on my knee while I watched Tom Hanks on Inside the Actor's Studio. Levi was not so into that idea. He kept fussing, I kept bouncing. Finally it got really loud and I had to stop watching my show. I took Levi outside onto the front porch swing and started rocking with him. He still didn't settle down for a few minutes.

Finally he started to relax. I got a good steady but slow pace going and I just looked into his eyes. The wind was blowing lightly. And as I looked into Levi's eyes I thought about how much I want to stay in this house. How I want to sit in that exact same spot with Levi's baby in my arms as I rock. And it got really quiet, the wind blew my hair and suddenly it was gray. My hair was gray, the baby I was holding was my grandson. The cars parked in the driveway belonged to my grown children. I was a grandmother and I was rocking my grandbaby on the same porch swing I had rocked my babies. My eyes started to burn and the tears started flowing. All the while Levi is just looking back at me with his huge deep blue eyes. And I am just crying. Crying tears of joy. Tears of hope. Tears of thankfulness. How lucky I am to have Levi. How amaming he is already. What kind of man will he be? I start to think about him as a little boy, as a teenager, as a grown man. I just see my son, as he is today and as he will be. And then Levi makes an expression on his face, an expression like "Mom, you are so overreacting!" And then I start to laugh as I cry. Because it's true and it's funny. And then Levi, little baby Levi, starts to gurgle and laugh with me, he's smiling at me with those big blue eyes. Suddenly all the sounds come back, a fire truck in the distance, a lawn mower next door, cars coming around the corner street. The world comes back to us. Or we come back to it.

Mike and I joke about how his family is witchy. How they see things before they happen. How they have intutions about events and people. In that moment I felt like Levi was showing me something. I don't have that intuition, but Levi does. I have never had such vivid truthful dreams as I did when I was pregnant with Levi. And today, on that porch swing, I felt that truth again. I felt my connection to Levi strengthen.

I am so lucky to have this little soul in my life. He is such a gift. He really will be a great man. I am honored to have him.

Levi's "Christening"

Yesterday Levi and I were on the go most of the day. We got up and got ready so we could meet Mike for lunch at his work. It was soooo much fun to show Levi off, everyone at Mike's work is so nice and they all doted on Levi, that made me super happy. Mike just got promoted to Sales Manager at his company on Monday and I am SOOOOOO PROUD of him! So he got to change desks and now has a real office with a door and everything. So of course while we were visiting Levi had a giant poop and we had to figure out how to change his diaper in Mike's office. We put Levi on one of the guest chairs in his office and I sat on Mike's rolling chair and proceeded to change Levi's diaper. Mike held the dirty diaper for me while I wiped and put the soiled wipes in the dirty diaper. Wouldn't you know that Levi decided to keep pooping once the diaper was off. Mike and I were scrambling to keep the poop on the wipe and off the furniture and my hands. It was HILARIOUS! I was crying I was laughing so hard. And all this time Mike is now holding the dirty diaper literally in my face, he didn't realize it because he was so focused on poop not getting everywhere. He and I had quite a laugh and as Mike said, Levi christened his office.

After visiting Mike Levi and I returned the birth pool (finally!) to the lady we rented it from and then we hit Target. I wanted to get a Bumbo chair for Levi because he can hold his neck up and I am tired of propping him up with pillows and worrying that he'll fall over. When I saw the price of the Bumbo I was a little disappointed. It costs $38 and it is just a chair, no snack tray, no activity panel. Just a chair. I kept looking around and found a SuperSeat, it is the same chair but comes with a snack tray, activity panel, and can be transitioned into a booster seat for Levi to sit in a regular chair at the dinner table. Score! And it was only $7 more, double score!

After getting home I was sure Levi would pass out for at least a few hours since we had been on the go all day and he hadn't napped at all. But alas, he was not on board with taking a nap. He wasn't fussy, he just didn't want to sleep. When a 7 (almost 8) week old doesn't sleep you really can't do much but keep an eye on him. I attempted to clean and cook but it wasn't very easy because I had to keep checking on him and making sure he was entertained, etc. Finally I decided to take him with me on my nightly walk that I go on with my BFF Teresa. Also Mike wasn't going to be home til after 8PM because he got his haircut. So as soon as I got Levi in the stroller he passed out. Perfect. I walked with Teresa and he slept, for a little while. He woke up while we were walking but he was calm and not fussy so it didn't interfere with my exercise. But holy cow, the kid didn't sleep all day! Maybe 30 minutes at a time a few times throughout the day. So we got home and had Mike work his Daddy magic and put Levi to sleep on the front porch swing. And Levi fell asleep and stayed alsleep for 9 hours!!!!!!!!! Holy Sh*t!! That is the longest he has ever slept, I actually woke up throughout the night certain that he had stopped breathing because there was no way he could sleep that long. Yeah, he slept that long and I am so well rested today, oh man. I just hope this is his new and permanent sleep pattern.

And I am glad I got a lot of sleep because we are driving to the beach tonight and will be on the road til about 1AM so now I can stay up without much difficulty. We are bringing Bailey and LEvi, Evie is with her Dad in New Jersey. And we are bringing our BFFs Teresa, Greg, and their daughter Mackenzie who is Bailey's BFF. It should be super fun! Thanks for Mike's parents for letting us bring our friends!

Body for Life

About a week and a half ago Mike and I decided to start eating better. This is not a new thing for us. We are typically mindful of how we eat. But now that I have the all clear to exercise again AND Levi is sleeping more (so I am sleeping more) Mike and I both want to get back into shape. Oh yeah, and we want to get in shape because it is bathing suit season too.

Body for Life is a book full of recipes that are healthy. The concept for this recipe book is that you should always have a protein with a complex carb. There are no off limits foods on this regiment (this isn't a diet because it is supposed to be a way to change how you eat without limiting what or how much you eat). Basically, the book touts moderation and combining the right amount of fat, carbs, and protein at each meal. The book also calls for eating 6 meals a day.

So far Mike and I have lost 3 lbs. I have been walking/running 2.5 miles about 3 times a week since we started eating better. I am really pleased that I have already lost 3 lbs. I really want to get back in shape and lose the baby weight and fit into my clothes again.

One fantastic side effect of this eating better is that I am cooking a lot more and trying out new recipes. I am not known for my cooking and this experience is helping me to build some confidence in the kitchen. Of course having a lot of free time makes all this possible.

It takes a lot of preparation to eat healthy. First I had to figure out what is healthy. That seems like a no brainer but in fact it is harder than it seems. Basically with this way of eating we are eating fresh foods most of the time. It is great to cut out the processed crap that we'd been eating non-stop before. Now we aren't going raw or anything over here. We still eat processed foods such as cheese, bread, etc. But no more chips, granola bars, prepackaged peanut butter crackers, etc.

So back to preparation. Once I figured out what was healthy then I had to find out where to buy it, again not so easy. I had to go to 3 different stores to get everything I needed to eat healthy non processed foods. Costco for meats, Kroger for produce, and Walmart for everything else. Yeah, see why having a lot of free time is necessary? Once I got all the healthy stuff home I wasn't done. Then I had to wash and cut all the produce and cut and bag the meats into the correct portions. Whew. And I haven't even started cooking yet!

So some of my prouder recipes include: healthy turkey burgers (and they taste really good!), turkey bacon and broccoli quiche (again very tasty and healthy, score!), healthy chicken parmesan, and healthy tuna noodle casserole. It is wonderful to eat our favorite foods guilt free! All the above recipes make large portion sizes and are 500 calories or less per portion.

The other great thing about this way of eating is that I get to eat all day (which I have to do or I am crazy mean from low blood sugar). And again the snacks are all things I like eating; fruits, cheeses, lunch meats, protein shakes, peanut butter, veggies, etc. 

So with any luck I will look like this again very very soon...

Currently Reading: My Booky Wook

This is actually more depressing than funny, at least so far. Review coming soon.

Levi Smiling and Laughing!

My Two Dads: Steve

Get it? Any real child of the 80's should remember that gem of a show with Paul Reiser and whoever that other dude was.

Anyway, in honor of Father's Day I want to write about my 2 Dads; Steve, my dad, and Marshall my father in law.

My Dad: Steve

Dad and Evie

My Dad, Me and my twin brother Stan in Korea

My Dad is really the only father I've ever had. After my parents divorced when I was 4/5 yrs old my mother never remarried. She never even really dated. I never had another male father figure in my life except for my big brother Paul. I'll talk about him more later. So back to my Dad. I have noticed that in the South a lot of grown women still refer to their fathers as their "Daddy". I never have called my Dad that, well maybe as a small child but certainly not since I hit puberty have I called my Dad, Daddy. I think it has to do with where my Dad is from, he's from Connecticut. Northerners just don't speak that way about their parents. At least that is my experience.  As a young kid I didn't live with my Dad so he would come visit us and one of those visits he took us to the Riverwalk in Savannah and to the beach.

My Dad and I at the beach and on the Savannah Riverwalk

We moved in with my Dad and Mom-Michelle when I was going into 3rd grade. And it was amazing to live with them. Living with my Dad we had two stable parents that were home every night. It was great, oh and we all had our own bedrooms, no more sharing a room with my twin brother, and we lived in a house, not an apartment. And we did things together as a family on weekends. Some of those things included going hiking and going camping.

Top Pic: Dad, Mom, and me.

Bottom Pic: Dad and me when I had strep throat.

The one thing that he and I shared that I still cherish to this day is Swim Team. He took me to my swim practices and swim meets as a kid. He always supported me in that sport. In 5th grade my Mom-Michelle was deployed to Korea for the year so my Dad had to take care of all three of us by himself and work full time (and he got his Masters degree at the same time!). And he still found time to take me to my practices and meets. My practices were once a week at 530AM! So our little tradition was to go to practice and then go to Burger King for breakfast afterwards. To this day I can't have french toast sticks and round hashbrowns without thinking about my Dad. It was our special time together, just the two of us and it meant the world to me.

Me up bright and early for swim practice

When I was in 8th grade our family hit a rough patch and I decided I wanted to live with my Mom-Sally.  My senior year I started doing therapy and I asked my Dad to come from out of state to do therapy with me so he and I could work through our issues and start to build a relationship again. He did. That was huge to me. And because he came out and we worked really hard together through really hard emotional stuff he and I did start to build a new relationship. And because of that I decided to go to college in Indiana where he was living so I could be closer to him and continue to build our new relationship. And I cherished my budding relationship with my Dad. I wanted so badly to impress him and make him proud. And I think I did.

My Dad and Mom and Grandma at his house in Indiana

I moved to Augusta, GA after college to be with my exhusband. When I became pregnant my Dad and Mom-Michelle decided to move to Augusta too so that they could help me with the baby and be close to their only grandchild at the time. He was at Evelyn's birth and that meant so much to me. I continued to get close with my Dad and I also continued to try to impress him and make him proud.

Me, Dad, and Evie in Augusta

When my marriage fell apart so did my relationship with my Dad. It was a very difficult time in my life. And then I asked him to walk me down the proverbial aisle (Mike and I got married on the beach so there wasn't really an aisle per se) and he agreed. And that meant more to me than anything had meant up to that point in my life. I didn't have a real wedding the first time around so him walking me down the aisle wasn't even a possibility. And like all little girls (or most I imagine) I dreamed of having my Dad walk me down the aisle my whole life. For him to walk me down the aisle also meant that he supported me in my new life. A new life that he hadn't wanted for me initially. And now we are so good.

He has embraced me and my life and this time when I gave birth to Levi I waited for my Dad to be with me. I couldn't imagine giving birth without my Dad there to support me.

My Dad at Levi's birth

Our relationship is no longer me trying to impress him or make him proud. It is now me trying to know him and him trying to know me. And both of us having mutual respect and admiration for each other. And lots of love. I feel closer to my Dad today than I ever have before. And I cherish him now more than I ever have. So it's been a rocky road but it's all brought us here. And I love my Dad for all of it. As I am getting older I realize that I am a lot more like my Dad than I thought. I used to think I was more like my Mom-Sally but in fact I am more like my Dad (and my Mom-Michelle). I even look like him which I didn't realize until this year.

Some of the cool stuff that I got from my Dad:
- my love of Rock N Roll and Blues
- my appreciation for intellectualism
- my knowledge of chess (he is an amazing chess player, like award winning even today)
- my competitive nature (and a little bit of a sore loser streak)
- my perfectionist streak (my Dad hates to be subpar and so do I, if I am going to do something I am
    going to do it right and succeed.)
- my love of the beach (my Dad grew up on the beach and always took us to the beach as kids)
- my ability to tune out everything and focus on the task at hand. This trait drives Mike crazy, and my Mom-    Michelle too. We Boshears have this ability to really zero in on something and ignore everything around us.
- my sense of humor, it can be dark and twisted and I get that from my Dad and I love it!
- my love of the arts including drama, music, art. My Dad used to be an actor and he did musical theatre.
- my stubbornness, my Dad is not overtly stubborn but he definitely sticks to his guns on things he believes in
    and I am like that.

What makes me proud of my Dad:
- his 20+ years service to the United States Army. He retired as a full bird Colonel.
- his education level. He has 2 masters degrees, he's a really smart guy.
- his dedication to my Mom-Michelle. He has been married to my Mom for over 20 yrs and I admire that
    and appreciate it greatly.
- his love for his grandkids. I have seen a whole new side of my Dad now that he is a Gramper.

Happy Father's Day Dad! I love you!

My Two Dads: Marshall

My Dad: Marshall

Dad and Levi

Marshall is Mike's Dad. I've only known him for 3 short years but I love him. I call him Dad. He is a very interesting guy and a lot of fun. Every time I see Marshall I laugh and I think.

Dad and I cracking up in the backseat of the car

Dad's classic face

Marshall is so smart and so well read there is no topic that he can't talk about. And he likes to talk, love you Dad! And the man has unending energy. He only gets maybe 7 hours of sleep a night and never naps. But he also doesn't sit still, at least not for long. He walks to the grocery store, the park, the pool. He stays active and because of it I forget that he is almost 70. In fact I never think of him as old, he embodies the idea that age is just a number. He swims in the ocean with the kids, plays at the park with them. He never stops going and he is always up for going anywhere the kids want to go, as long as it's not too expensive, again, I love you Dad!

Dad on the playset with the girls

He is really a fascinating guy. He grew up in Detroit and worked for the city until he retired. He is Jewish and has a deep wealth of knowledge about his ethnicity. And he is a very sensitive person. He loves old movies and he cries freely at them. And he is a very loyal and respectful person. He always stands by his family, he doesn't take someone hurting his kids or his wife lightly nor does he let go of it easily. And he always makes me smile when he refuses to eat dinner until Mike gets home from work or is done working in the yard. He really respects his son. I see admiration in his eyes and he always voices his amazement at how we raise our kids and run our household. He's just a really appreciative and heartfelt man.

Dad and I dancing on the pier

And he loves his grandkids. He is always happy to spend time with them and never passes up an opportunity to be with them. He has embraced Evie as one of his own and just recently he and Evelyn spent a lot of cute quality time together at the beach. And he embraced me into his family too. And I really enjoy his company and respect him for the life he has built and the amazing wife and kids he has supported throughout his life. He's a great man, Dad, and Grandpa.

I love you Dad, Happy Father's Day!